What Is A Parent's Heart?
When our kids are little we love them and they love us back so generously. It's seems so easy to play and laugh with them, to enjoy life together. "I love you mommy" slips easily out of their mouths and "I love you too, sweetheart", is naturally given in reply. We assume from these experiences that they know we love them. What happens then when they become a teen or tween and their moods and expressions change?
As their hormones and outlook on life begin to change they can easily grow distant from us. Struggles within themselves can lead to struggles with parents and others. To safeguard your relationship with your growing
child it's best to start building trust and understanding early on, and build on that foundation.
The true heart of a parent is that we want the best for our children.
We want them to be fulfilled, happy & prosperous as an adult. However, this doesn't happen just because they have a lovely & fun childhood. Wanting the best for our children doesn't mean fulfilling all their desires. This can be a confusing point for both parents and children. Children can develop resentment if they hear "No" all the time, yet they can also become spoiled and delusional about life if they get what they want all the time. This is why core values, discipline & structure are essential.
Children need to develop confidence in themselves, learn self-discipline, and develop a clear set of values to navigate through this life. Although we may have the best of intentions, while trying to teach our children these important life lessons they sometimes misunderstand and even rebel. Reaching each child from your heart of parental love to their heart of a child's love is not always easy. This is why understanding each child's personality and "love language" can be very helpful.
Here's the problem though: a teenager's experience in life is limited, their desires are still very self oriented, and they can only "see" from their own limited perspective. Life is complex, we need to learn a larger perspective, and good relationships require a degree of humility, self-sacrifice and commitment. Even though you may be a great role model for your kids, the world around them can still confuse them.
Sometimes even as adults we have not completely worked these things out.
Let them know you have needs too, and you are aware of the whole family's needs.
Love is a lifetime commitment to care about each other.
Love is not always easy and it doesn't always feel good. This may be one of the hardest lessons you teach your children, but the most important. Television, books, movies and music like to woo us into that dreamland of "happily ever after". Telling children "fairy tales" is a tradition that needs balance, otherwise our children will grow up with impossible expectations. Don't forget to tell them the real life stories of success through diligence, determination and commitment. Don't forget to tell the stories of generations past who sacrificed and worked hard in unbearable conditions, or who fought and died to make the future better for everyone.