Parenting

Being pregnant the first time was wonderful!
Even though I was 31, I was in good shape. Only gained 14 lbs., baby boy was 7 lbs. and the water & placenta was 7 lbs. so I was back to pre-pregnancy weight right after he was born. Don't get jealous though, because the problems came after that.

Wow, what a life-changing shock it was to finally have a baby one month before I turned 32. My husband says I'm romantically idealistic so he just laughs when things don't happen the way I think they should. Baby was back in the hospital after a week in an extremely yellow condition. They had to give him formula because I couldn't produce enough milk. It was a 3 month struggle with bleeding breasts but I was determined to breastfeed my baby.

The breakthrough solution: Lots of very strong marshmallow tea. It increases milk flow.

2nd baby woes: Excessive back & hip pain while pregnant. Gained 25 lbs. 20 months apart, she was 8lbs. 6oz. She sucked so hard it caused extreme uterine cramps. She got plenty of milk although I was crying in pain.

The midwife's solution: Lots of very, very strong chamomile tea. It relaxes the muscles.

3rd baby woes: More extreme back & hip pain while pregnant at 38. I was dilating too early so they put me on bed rest for the last 6 weeks. I got tonsillitis and almost choked to death from an allergic reaction to medicine. Baby stopped moving for 3 days so I decided to take castor oil to induce labor. Labor was only 2 hours and he was 10lbs. 6oz. Ooooouuuuccccchhhhhh! He dropped like a bowling ball and it felt like I was giving birth to a watermelon. Fifth degree tearing (or worse) and I needed surgery. More bed rest for 6 weeks.

The doctor's solution: Don't have any more children.

But I loved being pregnant, I loved giving birth, and I love being a mom! Am I a masochistic? No, hormones make you delusional. That's a good thing, otherwise no one would procreate and we would face extinction.


Also, we wouldn't become the best we can be, because we wouldn't be able to expand our capacity to love as much without becoming parents.


What are your biggest parenting concerns?
(Leave a comment to answer, I will comment back or write a post about the topic.)
Is your baby not sleeping through the night yet, or are you struggling with potty training? Are your toddler's naughty behaviors driving you crazy? Is your child struggling in school, or do you suspect there's a bully problem? Wondering what to do about teenage backtalk? Not only have I "been there, done that", but I've studied these topics and given workshops on them, I've heard the concerns & struggles of many parents over the years. We are all on the same journey with varying circumstances, and we can help each other.

4 comments:

  1. Here's a question for you. (You probably have gotten this one before.) My 5 year old still uses a pacifier at night. When we took at away (a couple of days after his 5th birthday) He screamed so bad I would think it could be compared to a drug addict going through horrible withdrawl (we've never heard him cry like that) I't tortured us! So we gave in (i gave in...and i'm the strong one) We told him to hold onto it and not put it in his mouth unless he absoluetely had to! yeah..right! So we have given up...I know! so sad! Any advice??

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  2. Hi NJ Housewife, thanks for your comment. I didn't find your email so I'll post my answer here. Your son has become emotionally dependent on the pasi but it can be cured. The good news is that at 5 years old you should be able to talk with him about it intelligently, as opposed to a toddler whose logical abilities have not developed yet. You will need to use a gradual tapering off process and reward system as well. Here are some points you can follow:
    1. Stay calm & rational at all times while discussing the pasi with him.
    2. Explain that he's a big boy now, so it's time to learn how to go to sleep without it, and that you will help him learn.
    3. If necessary give examples of other children his age who don't need a pasi to go to sleep.
    4. Tell him it's not good for his mouth & teeth anymore now that he's bigger.
    5. Tell him you will let him have it for 10 minutes each night for a week, and then you will put it in a safe place until the next night. Make a chart and show him, decide ahead on rewards for falling asleep without it (can be stars to add up for a bigger reward).
    6. You may need to find a way to help him fall asleep at first like a story, stroke his head or back, lay down with him, play music, give him chamomile or catnip tea to help him relax before bed, etc.
    7. THIS IS THE KEY - BE strong, no matter what don't give in even if he has to cry himself to sleep. If he cries too much tell him he can't get the reward unless he cooperates (if stars are not enough incentive make it a daily reward you know he will really want, but plan ahead, don't stoop to bribery).
    8. Continue this pattern for a week & give lots of encouragement & love for any progress.
    9. On the second week shorten the time to 5 minutes, and if possible also shorten the time you spend coaxing him to sleep. Don't forget the rewards.
    10. On the third week shorten the time to one minute and do that for 5 days.
    11. On the 6th day of the 3rd week have a little ceremony to say goodby to the pasi. You could prepare for this by making or buying a special box for it. Tell him it needs a long rest. Let him know how proud you are of his growing up and saying goodby to it.
    12. On the last day have a big celebration of his new independence.

    It's possible that the process can work in a shorter time if your son decides he wants to grow up. Keep reminding him why he has to get used to not sleeping with the pasi. Be encouraging but don't have sympathy for his weakness or it will never work. You are doing the right thing for him so be strong, don't let his emotions control you.

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  3. Hello..visiting back!..on my way to Alexa for a review and joining your GFC..I see u have Dawn Meehan's button there...I am her big fan too :) Commenting on NJ Housewife's case..it is a struggle isn't it to let go some kid's bedtime habit?! I had a big challenge to wean my 3 years old son (2,5 yrso then)off from his bedtime bottle. He screamed to the core in the middle of the night..but it took me only 4 days to completely took out this habit..now I am struggling to take the bottle out completely during the day too (sigh..) and I just finished wean off my 2 years old from my boobies..so I am taking my time to take out this bottle habits..I am planning to take them out completely in one go for both of them to sippy cup and then normal glass. Some insight (may not be perfect but I hope can inspire for the next move): http://cutecoconut.com/2011/07/5-simple-ways-to-get-rid-of-bedtime-bottle/
    And I agree with Cheryl, we have to be strong. That's the key :)

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  4. Thanks for the follow, am following back....and I agree...the caving in will only cause problems for the future!

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