Tuesday, February 7, 2012

How We Talk - Part 2

Did you figure out what your communication style is?

Sometimes you may use more than one style, at different times or even with different people. Yesterday I said I was a bit of an "Eye Roller". That really only happened after my youngest became a teenager (can you imaging why?). Do you see how you communicate differently, at different times & with different people?

Most of us have a work persona where we practice work etiquette. We also have our friend persona or the way we relate to our friends. Some of us also have a writing personality or 'voice'. (How do your kid's feel about your writing personality?) Do we also have a family persona?
How different is that to the way we relate to others?

Of course we have to be the parent first, and that is very different from other relationships. Also we have a special and different relationship with our partner than with anyone else. However, through all these different relationships there is still you, the true you that you want everyone to know. That's the point I'm getting at. Sometimes our family persona or parenting persona can be really different from the way we see ourselves, and that means that our family is not getting the whole picture (of you).

So consider which of these communication styles seems to fit you at home. Then ask yourself if your friends and co-workers see you the same way. Next consider how you can adjust your family communication style slightly to allow your family to experience other aspects of your personality.


  • Sweetie Pie - Always trying to be the best mommy, on mommy's best behavior. This is great but Sweetie Pies can often turn into Volcano's or Martyr's. So Sweetie Pie's need some balance. 
  • Volcano - No description necessary, except that there are smoldering volcano's, dormant volcano's, and active volcano's. It's usually a learned behavior that can be tamed with time & patience. 
  • Staff Sergeant - A born leader and people organizer. Great for getting things done, but learn to delegate & lighten up so others can learn to take responsibility instead of just obeying. 
  • Martyr - You're good at letting people know all you've done for them. Problem is it usually backfires, people stop listening. Try being more direct, "I need to feel appreciated to feel loved."
  • Drama Queen - Exaggeration and over emphasis is natural to you. This can be entertaining and exciting at times, but it can also be tiring and embarrassing. Find your off-screen persona and enjoy it. 
  • Eye Roller - Usually happens by the third child and definitely by the forth, it's a coping skill, but also a bad habit. Try substituting with verbal responses like, "hmmm...", "I see", "okay", or "that's funny." 
  • Tiger - Truly tolerant to a point, but then watch out! This is actually kind of balanced as long as the claws are trimmed and the growl is moderate. Tiger's make rules clear but give kid's room to play & learn on their own. However, misbehavior will be swiftly dealt with. 
I hope you've enjoyed this post, feel free to leave comments below. For more Communication & Personality tips and resources check out my Page Tabs and the books offered there as well as on the sidebar.

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